The Nursery Settling-In Toolkit 2026

Three weeks into the new term, most nurseries have a mix: children who walked in on day one and never looked back, and a few who are still tearful at every drop-off. In this session, Early Years Leader and Education Strategist Lara Hudson joined Purva Goyal, Co-Founder and CPO of illumine, to look at how settings can treat settling in as a planned, ongoing process rather than something to firefight. The session was aimed at nursery leaders in the UAE, but most of it applies to any early years setting. This is the written recap. The full recording is at the top of this page.

Key takeaways

Where settling stands three weeks in

Lara opened by noting that many leaders she had spoken to described the first weeks as firefighting, and that this alone tells you something: more structure at the start helps everyone know what the journey ahead looks like. She also pointed to a change in the age cut-off this year, which has put younger children into what used to be slightly older classes and made some groups more mixed in age.

In the first poll, a good share of attendees said most children had settled well, with fewer saying some were still struggling or that it varied by room. Lara's advice for the "varies by room" group was to ask questions rather than accept it:

When Purva asked how busy leaders find time for this, Lara suggested building reflection into small moments: the drive home, or ten minutes in the office at the end of the day. Practical follow-ups include using upcoming supervision sessions to ask the right questions, checking a room's planning against what is actually happening, and being willing to pivot if the opening "All About Me" theme is not working for the children or the teachers.

What goes into a settling-in plan

Lara recommends every nursery have a settling-in plan, whatever you call it, so that staff and parents both know what the first few weeks will look like. It might include:

Your plan will look different from other settings' plans, and that is fine, because it should reflect the families you serve.

The reasons go beyond tidiness. A plan builds trust with parents who now know more about what to look for. It supports a sense of belonging, which Lara noted sits at the heart of the new Quality Framework. It helps parents feel confident they made the right choice, and it supports retention, including the siblings who follow. She also pointed to the research behind it, from attachment theory onward, and said a document like this saves hours of firefighting because there is always something to refer back to.

Staff should be heavily involved too. Lara suggested building settling-in conversations into staff induction, so teachers can ask their questions before they are standing in front of parents.

Score your setting: a four-point self-assessment

Attendees were asked to score themselves from 1 (not started) to 5 (fully embedded) on four statements, for a possible total of 20:

One attendee shared a score of 12, which Lara called a solid start. She said the fourth statement is the one most settings fall down on, and suggested running the same exercise with your staff team, because what leaders think is happening is often different from what teachers see and hear from families.

The biggest barriers to settling quickly

The next poll asked about the biggest challenge in helping children settle: the information given to families, language barriers, inconsistent handovers, limited information from parents, or a lack of time. Votes were spread fairly evenly across the options, with language barriers the exception. Purva noted that the list will change with location, and that language barriers are especially common in a city like Dubai.

Lara picked out handovers as an area she sees getting more attention, with every member of staff expected to give the same quality of handover. An attendee added one more barrier: the parent's own emotions. When a parent is not ready to let go, the child picks up on it. Lara agreed, and said that preparing parents for a positive drop-off is part of the setting's job.

So often the children are not the problem.

What parents feel on day one

Attendees suggested anxious, overwhelmed and tearful. Lara added one that often gets missed: relieved. After a long summer of keeping a little one entertained, some parents are genuinely glad to hand over. Most, though, are worried and second-guessing. She suggested a few ways to help:

• Reassure parents about what the day will hold: painting, messy play and other activities, then home.
• Explain how early education works today, since many parents remember a much more worksheet-driven experience.
• Be visible. Managers should be in reception at drop-off, not hidden in the office.
• For the first few weeks, have a nurse in reception, ideally in scrubs, so parents know exactly who to ask about medicine or allergies.

Seven moments that shape a family's first impression

Attendees were also shown two pickup scenes and asked which center they would choose. In the first center, a parent was left waiting with no one to greet them, which is both unwelcoming and a safeguarding concern. In the second, staff were greeting families at the children's level, and the children were kept occupied until their parents arrived.

How you communicate matters as much as what you send

Lara has seen settings that believe they communicate well but are sending too much, or filling messages with abbreviations and jargon. Her guidance:

• Use simple language every parent can understand.
• Consider bilingual communication. Arabic is a priority in the UAE, and many settings also have French- and Spanish-speaking families.
• Agree as a team on what a culturally responsive welcome looks like for your families.
• Aim for consistent quality across the team, not identical behavior.

For more ideas, see our guide to nursery parental communication, and for younger children who are finding it hard, our tips on separation anxiety in toddlers.

How illumine supports settling in

Purva showed how a nursery could put some of this into practice in illumine:

• Scheduled announcements. Messages can be written ahead and scheduled for the night before a child starts, or two or three weeks in, for reminders such as labeling belongings. Each message can go to selected children or a whole room, through the parent app and by email. See teacher-parent communication.
• AI translation. A message can be translated into Arabic with the original English kept alongside it.
• Settling-in forms. Purva uploaded screenshots of Lara's information form, and the AI turned them into a digital form covering home language, health information, routines, sleep and eating habits, favorite activities and familiar words. The form can be edited, shared with parents through the app and by email, and submissions are stored on the child's profile. Read more about the AI form generator.
• A resource center. Handbooks, policies and other documents can be organized in folders that parents can open on their phones. If you are putting one together, see what to include in your childcare parent handbook.

Questions from the session

How long should parents sit in with their child during the settling week?

Lara called this the golden question and said there is no single number. It depends on reading the child and the family, and on thinking about the whole room: if one parent stays, others will want to as well. Some parents are best invited for a coffee in the office; others are better off site, where they cannot hear their child. She often offers to watch for five or ten minutes and then call the parent with an update, though some parents prefer to assume no news is good news. The key is getting to know each family and making sure every teacher does the same.

What if the parent is the one who is not ready to let go?

Lara agreed this is common, and that children pick up on how their parents feel. Settings should prepare parents for a positive drop-off as part of the settling-in information, and be clear about expectations. A parent who wants to look around the room is welcome; a parent who sits on their phone in the classroom for a long time is not.

Leaders barely have time to analyze each room. How do they fit in reflection?

Lara's answer was to treat reflection as part of the leader's role, just as we ask teachers to be reflective practitioners. Even ten minutes at the end of the day, or the drive home, is enough to ask whether rooms differ and where to look next.

Resources mentioned

• The Nursery Settling-In Toolkit, shared with attendees after the session. It includes a settling-in readiness check, a family expectations and routines document, and a child's story and keywords form.
• The self-assessment checklist with the full scoring rubric, also included in the toolkit.

What to do next

Lara's closing advice was not to try to change everything at once. Pick the quick, high-impact changes you can make in the next week or two, then put a plan in place for the bigger ones. Think back to the two children you pictured at the start: the one who settled in days, and the one who is still finding their feet. The aim is for the first family's experience to stay strong and for the second child to have a clearer path.

For the staff side of new starts, watch The Nursery Induction Toolkit 2026. To see how illumine supports nurseries day to day, explore nursery management software or book a live demo.