The First Hello: Welcoming Every Child, Every Family At Your Montessori School

The first hello is the start of a family's relationship with your school, and the weeks that follow shape whether they trust you, feel at home and become part of the community. In this Circle Time Conversation, Tim Seldin, President of The Montessori Foundation, and Dr. Cindy Acker, a Montessori head of school, talked with Navneet Rastogi, Founder and CEO of illumine, about how to make every child and family feel seen and welcome from before day one. This is the written recap. The full recording is at the top of this page.

Key takeaways

When does the relationship really begin?

The session opened with a poll asking when a family's relationship with a school begins. Cindy's answer was not on the list: before the first inquiry or tour. A school should learn about the community it serves, and not assume the families who come will be like the people already there.

Tim agreed. It starts with how a school presents itself and the word on the street, since most families arrive through a recommendation. That means being clear about who you are and what you offer, so the right families find you and what they experience matches what they heard.

The questions every family is asking

Tim framed the whole conversation around four questions that every child and parent brings through the door, every year:

Do I feel safe? Do I feel seen? Do I feel welcome here? Do I belong here?

Cindy added that today the question is often plural. A parent may feel accepted, but they are also asking whether their child, perhaps a child with particular needs, belongs here too.

Prepare the community, not just the classroom

Montessori educators know the prepared environment: materials on the shelves, in order, inviting and at the child's level. Cindy and Tim argued that the environment is much bigger than the classroom walls.

Belonging goes beyond race, religion, culture and language, Tim said. It covers a child with special needs, a toddler moving up to primary and a child who is brand new to the school. Cindy added that families bring their past experiences with them, good and bad, and they watch how adults treat each other. If the janitor walks past during a tour, the parent notices whether you greet them, and reads that as a sign of how you will treat their family.

Tim also cautioned against calling meetings for "all the lead teachers," which shuts out assistants, aides and interns. If supervision is the obstacle, take turns watching the children, the head of school included.

Making families feel seen

Cindy said that truly seeing someone is not about us. Too many tours are spent telling families about the school instead of finding out who they are. Her practical habits start with a family's name:

She also shared a lesson from after the pandemic, when a parent told her he no longer knew how to be with people. Schools now need to model relationships and belonging for families. Her approach is to keep "living in the question": tell me more about that, I did not know that, would you be willing to come in and play your instrument for the children?

Replace assumptions with curiosity

One slide summed up the shift with a simple example.

Cindy pointed out that if a class is studying a continent and the teacher has to ask whether any parents are from there, the school missed the chance to learn it earlier. She also noted that new California legislation, AB 495, limits what schools and child care providers can collect about families, including citizenship and immigration status, so her emphasis is on inviting families to share their stories rather than asking directly.

One way her school did that: on Friday mornings, any parent could teach a song or dance from their own childhood at drop-off, with coffee set out. Parents started coming just to take part, and it opened up curiosity about each other's cultures. Tim added that celebrating every family's culture does not diminish anyone's. Families who are new to a country often want to understand it but feel too embarrassed to ask.

Diversity is who is there. Inclusion is how it feels.

Cindy explained the difference with a story from her childhood. Her mother always set an extra plate at the dinner table, in case someone came, so no one would ever arrive and watch the family move things around to make room.

Tim warned against "air kissing," the warm but shallow greeting that does not really connect. Whether a school has 50 children or 500, it can become an intentional community where people know and care about each other. Cindy described the coffee culture of the small Dutch towns her relatives come from, where people sit down together and "see you later" means setting a time. At school, that means pausing with a parent instead of saying hi in passing. If you are in a rush, say so and promise to follow up, and if a parent looks tired, check in.

Building relationships, not running orientation sessions

A poll asked where most of the time went at attendees' last parent orientation. Most said policies and schedules, followed by introducing teachers and programs. Tim described the classic scene: parents perched on tiny chairs while teachers lecture them about everything they need to know.

How illumine helps you know every family before day one

Knowing five families well is manageable. Knowing 50 or 100, and making sure every teacher has the same information, is harder. Navneet showed how schools use illumine's AI form creator to do this:

• Describe the form you need. He asked the AI for a welcome information form, and it drafted one in seconds, ready to edit.
• Send it to every family at once. Families receive a link by email or on their phone and fill it in from any device.
• Share it with your team. Responses can be downloaded or printed for teachers and the front desk, and parents can log in to see what they submitted.

Tim added that schools can hand over their existing PDF forms to be turned into online forms, and that details parents enter once carry across to the next form, so they do not have to fill in the same information twice. He also said security of children's information is one of the things school leaders worry about most. Read more about the AI form generator and how illumine handles parent communication for Montessori schools.

Questions from the session

How often should staff meet with parents?

Cindy said as often as each parent needs, beyond formal conferences. A family with their first child may have more questions and need more time. Tim compared it to any close relationship: people need time together. Because Montessori classrooms usually do not send home workbooks or homework, a school can feel like a black hole to parents until they come to trust it. The goal is not to turn parents into Montessori experts, but to make it safe and easy for them to understand what is happening and get involved.

How often should staff meet with each other?

Tim's answer was twice a day. In the morning, while some staff take turns covering early arrivals, everyone else gathers briefly to get ready for the day, perhaps with a short meditation, some yoga or an uplifting message. At the end of the day, teachers meet with their co-teacher, team, division or the whole faculty. Meeting as a school once a month, he said, is not enough. He also suggested that teachers prepare and refresh the classroom with the children rather than before and after they arrive, because it is the children's house.

Should staff address parents by their first name or last name?

Navneet suggested asking families how they would like to be addressed and recording it early, at the tour or on the first day, so every staff member knows. Tim added that this connects to a bigger question for a future session: how to bring families into the school before they even apply. In his words, a single date is a tough way to start a marriage, so look for multiple points of contact.

One school holds a picnic a few weeks into the year. Is that a good idea?

An attendee shared that their returning families become the welcoming committee for new ones at an early-year picnic. Tim asked why wait two weeks: schools can create opportunities in the winter, spring and summer before school starts, including parent ambassadors and chances for returning children to reconnect. Cindy suggested a picnic at the beginning of the year and another at the end, and shared that her school has run an optional family camp-out in a regional park.

Resources mentioned

• A welcome information form, prepared by Cindy and Tim and shared with attendees after the session, to help schools learn each family's name, story and preferences before day one.
• illumine's AI form creator, shown live. See the AI form generator.

What to do next

For more on helping new families start well, read the recap of The Nursery Settling-In Toolkit 2026 or our guide to what to include in your childcare parent handbook. To see how illumine supports Montessori schools, explore Montessori school software or book a live demo.