Supporting Children with Behavioral Challenges: A Guide For Florida

“My son was asked to leave two preschools before he turned four,” one mother told me recently. “They said he was aggressive, couldn’t sit still, and didn’t listen. But no one ever asked why. They just told me, ‘He’s not a good fit.’ I cried the whole ride home.”

This isn’t unusual.

Many Florida families are desperately trying to do right by their children—especially post-COVID, when we’ve seen a surge in anxiety, speech delays, and social struggles. But the systems aren’t always equipped to help.

Parents get calls from the front office. Behavior reports or notes that say, “Please come pick up early.”

But what they really want is someone to say: “We see your child. We’re here to help.” 

There’s THREE Sides to This Story: A Deep Dive Into Behavioural Challenges  

These stories matter. 

Because behind every behavior chart is a real child. Behind every tantrum is a nervous system in overdrive. And behind every overwhelmed teacher is someone who got into this work to make a difference. They need our support to keep doing it.

But we’re so bogged down trying to keep DCF auditors and compliance regulators happy. 

The truth of the matter is: if we want our early childhood centers to be places where every child can thrive—and where teachers stay and grow—we must improve our understanding and support for children with behavioral challenges.

This is about more than policies and protocols. It’s about people. And it starts by listening—really listening—to the voices of those most impacted.

1. Teachers Are Stressed and Unsupported

Every extra behavioral challenge doesn’t just impact the child — it adds to teacher stress. Because it’s not always a straightforward regression. One study found that some pandemic-era preschoolers actually showed stronger problem-solving and fine motor skills, but weaker personal-social skills compared to pre-pandemic peers. For educators, this means navigating a classroom where skill levels and needs are more uneven than ever before.

 And teacher burnout isn’t an abstract concept. The doubling of behavioral incidents directly contributes to turnover, which in turn destabilizes classrooms. A clear, supportive process for addressing behaviors isn’t just good for kids; it’s essential for keeping good teachers.

2. Parents Are Caught By Surprise

For many parents, the first mention of a behavioral concern in preschool comes as a genuine surprise. At home, they may see a child who is affectionate and playful, so hearing about aggression, inattention, or defiance at school feels confusing. Even if they’ve noticed small challenges themselves, they often hope that a preschool’s social environment will help smooth them out.

Parents also tend to assume that teachers have ready access to behavior support systems, specialists, and proven strategies. So, when the updates they receive are mostly incident reports, early pick-up requests, or warnings, it can quickly shift from optimism to anxiety. Without clear guidance, these conversations can leave them feeling judged, defensive, or worried their child is being labeled too early—especially when cultural expectations about behavior differ.

3. Florida Centers Face Unique Pressures

Let’s be honest: leading a preschool center in Florida is not for the faint of heart. The state’s Behavioral Health Data Profile shows that we’re already struggling to meet children’s behavioral health needs.

Between DCF regulations, VPK guidelines, rising operational costs, and staff recruitment headaches, the pressure is intense.

Layer on a child with ongoing behavioral needs—and no clear intervention path—and it’s easy to feel like your center is at the breaking point. Left unsupported, these behaviors can escalate into suspensions or expulsions — both of which Florida DCF strongly discourages in early education.

That makes it even more important for preschools to have strong in-house pathways for identifying concerns early, documenting them, and connecting families to the right help.

My Advice For Childcare Staff Dealing with Behavioural Challenges in Children

Children with behavioral challenges need your school. And your school can support them—without burning out your staff or scaring off other families.

The key is building systems of understanding and care. And a shift in perspective will go a long way in building these systems:

1. See behavior as communication

All behavior—yes, all of it—is a form of communication. The child who hits isn’t being “bad.” The child who hides under the table isn’t just being difficult. They’re telling us something.

• “I don’t feel safe.”
  
• “I don’t know how to say what I need.”
  
• “My body is overwhelmed.”
  
• “I’m not sure how to connect.”
  
  

When we shift from “What’s wrong with this child?” to “What’s this child trying to tell us?” we move from control to compassion—and that’s where real change begins.

2. Support your staff as much as the child

One of the biggest mistakes we make in early childhood is assuming that training teachers to “manage behavior” is enough.

But teachers aren’t machines. They’re humans. Often young, often underpaid, and often doing their best with very little support.

If you expect them to stay calm, curious, and constructive while managing aggressive or disruptive behavior day after day—without a strong support system—you’re setting them up to burn out.

Give them tools. But more importantly, give them time, backup, encouragement, and emotional safety. Let them vent without judgment. Step in when it’s too much. Provide coaching, modeling, and a clear plan. Make it clear that you’re in this with them.

3. Partner with families ( when it’s hard) 

Even experienced teachers can find it hard to talk to parents about behavioral concerns. Emotions run high, and conversations can turn defensive—sometimes even into denial.

Focus on behaviors you can both observe and measure, not labels or diagnoses. Start with strengths: a child’s curiosity, kindness, or sense of humor. Then share neutral, observation-based examples. Instead of “He’s being aggressive,” say, “We’ve noticed he’s hitting during cleanup when asked to put blocks away—have you seen this at home?”

Use language that invites collaboration:

• “We’ve noticed your child is having a hard time, and we want to work together to support them.”
  
• “We see so many strengths, and we want to help them shine.”
  
• “You know your child best—help us understand what works at home.”
  
  

When parents feel heard and respected, they’re more likely to trust your judgment and follow through—laying the foundation for lasting change.

4. Use the right software to lighten the load

Behavioral support involves observation, documentation, and communication. That’s a lot to ask of an already-stretched team. This is where childcare management software like illumine shines.

With illumine, teachers can:

• Log behavioral incidents with just a few taps. The system allows extensive customization wherein you can create labels for different activities. You can create a different activity label for behavioural incidents so that they are not lost in a sea of updates and generalized activity logs.

• Have real-time communication with parents and automatically. illumine has several features like activity logs, notes, concerns, and detailed daily reports for each student, so you are not scrambling through multiple messaging apps and sheets of paper to create long end-of-day writeups. Teachers can even download filtered activity logs and observation reports to highlight the incidents that indicate behavioural challenges. 
•  Add context to observations and activity logs using AI. This reduces the cognitive load on teachers and they aren’t racking their brains for detailed updates while taking care of children simultaneously. 
• Start a conversation with parents privately and respectfully using the in-app messaging tool in illumine. The group chat feature allows every staff member or teacher in a room to communicate with parents. You can also create private chats consisting of individual teachers and parents. This facilitates conversations between the two parties when their child shows early signs of behavioural challenges.
  
• Create hierarchical access controls that will help you collaborate with external counselors or behavior coaches. You can share limited access to the illumine app, where these external collaborators get access to a child’s daily reports and activities without sharing any sensitive information. 
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You can also download daily reports, observations, and learning assessments as PDFs and Excel sheets to make collaboration with parents and external childcare staff easier.

Instead of relying on memory or scribbled notes, you can make data-driven decisions and create a sense of partnership among your whole team. The right tool can optimize your operations without disrupting them or burning a hole in your pocket.

5. Celebrate the small wins

One mother told me, “The first time I got a message from his teacher that wasn’t about what he’d done wrong—I cried. I finally felt hope.”

Supporting a child with behavioral needs is a marathon, not a sprint. Some days will be hard. Others will be harder. But there will be moments—moments where that child sits calmly during a circle, helps a peer zip their coat, or uses words instead of fists—and those moments matter.

Celebrate them. Document them. Share them with parents. A note that says, “Today he waited his turn during snack time!” might mean more than you know.

6. Build a behavior support pathway

When a child shows persistent behavioral challenges, you need a roadmap. Not a “maybe we’ll try something next week” kind of plan—but a clear, compassionate, team-based system that everyone understands.

Here’s what that can look like:

a. Early identification 

On the very first day a concern emerges, teachers make a quick note in Illumine’s activity log or incident report. Maybe it’s a sudden shift in mood, a repeated conflict over toys, or unusually withdrawn behavior. Recording it right away means you’re not relying on memory days later.

Example: “At 9:15, Daniel pushed another child during block play after waiting for a turn. Calmed within 3 minutes.”

Why it matters: Early, accurate logs make patterns easier to spot. In illumine, these can be logged under the dedicated “incidents” section so they don’t get lost among regular updates. You can even create a custom activity type in illumine to record such incidents and create a dedicated report for them. 

Compliance link: Inspectors and licensing officers see early documentation as evidence of proactive care.

b. Observation

Within the first week, a leader or behavior coach visits the classroom at least twice, capturing ABC data — what happened before (Antecedent), what the child did (Behavior), and what followed (Consequence). Sometimes the pattern is obvious: the behavior happens during transitions or when certain peers are nearby. Sometimes it takes more than one observation to see the link.

Example: A child’s aggressive outbursts only occur during cleanup time, suggesting difficulty with transitions.

Operations tip: Schedule check-ins during high-stress times (arrival, cleanup, before meals) so you don’t have to pull extra staff. Illumine’s AI-enhanced updates can help here by adding context to incidents, explaining the why behind what happened, not just the what. This gives families a clearer picture and reduces misunderstandings.

Compliance link: Objective, time-stamped notes reduce the risk of disputes if a parent challenges your account later. 

c. Collaborative plan 

Create a one-page plan: the child’s triggers, the skills you’re focusing on, and the agreed responses from staff. Share it with every adult who interacts with the child, including substitutes.

Concrete tools to include:

• Visual schedules
  
• Sensory breaks or calm corners
  
• Specific phrases for redirection
  
  

Compliance link: Many state programs require documented intervention plans before outside referrals.

d. Weekly check-ins

Every week, review progress. Adjust strategies if needed, and celebrate small wins with parents.

Example: “This week we saw only one incident during cleanup — down from three last week.”

Operations link: Set a recurring reminder in Illumine for team leads to log updates.

Retention benefit: Consistent, well-documented wins build teacher morale and reduce burnout — staff feel supported instead of left to “just deal with it.”

e. External referral 

If there’s little improvement, connect families to support services:

• Birth–3 years: Early Steps (Florida DOH, IDEA Part C) — free developmental screenings and therapies.
  
• Ages 3–5: FDLRS Child Find — free screenings and evaluations.
  
• Any age: Inclusion Support Warm Line — available through your Early Learning Coalition.
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Operations link: Keep contact info and referral forms ready so the process is quick and stress-free for parents.

Compliance link: Shows you’re following state-recommended escalation pathways.

f. Build partnerships before you need them

One of the most stressful moments for a director is realizing a child needs specialist support — and then scrambling to find the right resource while emotions are already running high. The truth is, you can make this a lot smoother for everyone by building those relationships before you ever need to make a referral.

• Map your local network – Identify early intervention programs, pediatric occupational therapists, speech-language pathologists, behavioral consultants, and your local Inclusion Support Warm Line.
  
• Make introductions early – Call, email, or visit these professionals now. Ask about their referral process, wait times, and how they prefer to receive information from schools.
  
• Create a resource sheet – Keep a simple, updated list of contacts with names, roles, and direct phone numbers. Share it with your leadership team so you’re never starting from scratch.
  
• Foster ongoing connections – Invite professionals to staff training sessions, open houses, or community events. It’s much easier to collaborate when there’s already trust and familiarity.
  
  

When those tough conversations with families come up, you’ll be able to say, “Here’s who we know, and here’s how they can help,” instead of “We’ll get back to you.” That confidence can make all the difference.

Your Quick-Reference Guide to Behavior Challenges

Here are some of the most common behavioural challenges and the most effective ways of tackling them- 

1. Difficulty with Transitions (e.g., cleanup time, moving between activities)

Solution #1: Visual Schedules

What it is:
A series of images, icons, or photos that show the day’s activities in sequence.

Why it works:
Helps children understand what’s coming next, reducing anxiety caused by uncertainty. Predictability makes transitions smoother.

How to use it:

1. Display the schedule at the child’s eye level.
   
2. Use pictures with minimal text.
   
3. Before each transition, point to the next step and say it aloud.
   
4. Involve the child in moving a marker or flipping the picture when the activity changes.
   
   

Resources needed:

• Laminated images/photos of daily activities
  
• Velcro strips or a magnetic board
  
• 30–45 mins setup time; 5–10 mins daily updates
  
  

What success looks like:

• Reduced resistance at transition times
  
• A child can predict the next activity without prompting
  
• Faster, calmer movement between activities
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• For high-anxiety children, add a “Now” and “Next” section instead of a full-day view.
  
• Use individual pocket-size versions for children needing extra support.
  
  

Solution #2: Choice Boards

What it is:
A visual tool that presents a limited set of activity, task, or item options for the child to choose from, using pictures, symbols, or words.

Why it works:
Choice boards give children a sense of control, reducing anxiety and resistance by allowing them to make decisions within safe boundaries. This supports autonomy and reduces power struggles.

How to use it:

1. Select 2–4 realistic options related to the activity or request (e.g., “Which center first?” “Which cleanup job?”).
   
2. Present them visually on a board, laminated sheet, or tablet.
   
3. Guide the child to point or verbally choose.
   
4. Honor their choice immediately.
   
5. Rotate or refresh options to keep engagement high.
   
   

Resources needed:

• Laminated picture cards or printed symbols (low cost)
  
• Velcro strips, magnetic board, or pocket chart
  
• 15–30 mins prep time per week to update choices
  
  

What success looks like:

• Fewer refusals when starting tasks
  
• A child makes a choice within 30 seconds without frustration
  
• Improved task initiation and follow-through
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• For nonverbal children, pair with gestures or an AAC device
  
• If choices overwhelm, start with 2 options instead of more
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2. Aggression (hitting, biting, pushing)

Solution #1: Teaching Replacement Behaviors

What it is:
Explicitly teaching the child what to do instead of the aggressive act — e.g., “When you want a toy, say ‘Can I have a turn?’”

Why it works:
Children often act out because they don’t know an acceptable alternative. Giving them a clear, practiced option reduces frustration.

How to use it:

1. Identify the situations that trigger aggression.
   
2. Model the replacement behavior during calm moments.
   
3. Prompt the child before known triggers (“Remember to use your words if you need help”).
   
4. Reinforce every attempt to use the new behavior.
   
   

Resources needed:

• Teacher/staff consistency
  
• Simple visual cue cards (optional)
  
• Time to model and role-play
  
  

What success looks like:

• Reduction in incidents over time
  
• Child attempts the replacement behavior without prompting
  
• Increased positive peer interactions
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• If verbal strategies aren’t working, try sign language cues for quick communication.
  
• Pair with sensory breaks if aggression is linked to overwhelm.
  
  

Solution #2: Sensory Breaks or Calm Corners

What it is:
Designated space with sensory tools where the child can regulate emotions before rejoining the group.

Why it works:
Helps children self-soothe, lowering the likelihood of aggressive outbursts.

How to use it:

1. Stock with soft textures, stress balls, and calming visuals.
   
2. Introduce it during calm times — not as punishment.
   
3. Offer the space proactively when early signs of escalation appear.
   
   

Resources needed:

• Small space or corner
  
• Sensory tools (~$20–$50 startup)
  
• Staff training on proactive use
  
  

What success looks like:

• Child goes to space before escalation
  
• Shorter duration and intensity of incidents
  
• Fewer interruptions to group activities
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Portable “calm kits” for outdoor play or transitions.
  
  

3. Withdrawal/Shyness (avoiding peers, not engaging in group activities)

Solution #1: Peer Buddy System

What it is:
Pairing the child with a consistent peer for certain activities to encourage participation.

Why it works:
Builds trust and comfort through one familiar relationship before joining larger groups.

How to use it:

1. Select a kind, patient peer as a buddy.
   
2. Start with low-pressure activities (reading, building blocks).
   
3. Gradually expand to group activities.
   
   

Resources needed:

• Teacher observation to select a suitable buddy
  
• 5–10 mins daily check-ins
  
  

What success looks like:

• Child initiates interaction with buddy
  
• Joins group activities more often
  
• Increased verbal and non-verbal engagement
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Use small group activities instead of pairs if one-on-one feels too intense.
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4. Difficulty Following Instructions

Solution #1: Visual Schedules

What it is:
A simple chart or sequence of images showing the day’s routine.

Why it works:
Reduces verbal overload and provides a predictable structure for children who process visual cues better.

How to use it:

1. Post at child's eye level.
   
2. Use photos of actual classroom activities when possible.
   
3. Refer to it before each transition: “Check what’s next!”
   
   

Resources needed:

• Laminated cards or magnetic board (~$20–$40)
  
• Photos or clear clipart
  
• Time to introduce and model use
  
  

What success looks like:

• Fewer reminders needed for next activity
  
• Smoother transitions without repeated instructions
  
• The child independently checks the schedule
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Use first/then boards for younger children or those with shorter attention spans.
  
  

Solution #2: Task Chunking

What it is:
Breaking instructions into small, manageable steps.

Why it works:
Reduces overwhelm and increases task completion.

How to use it:

1. Give one step at a time.
   
2. Use positive reinforcement after each completed step.
   
3. Gradually increase the number of steps as the child succeeds.
   
   

Resources needed:

• None beyond teacher awareness and practice
  
  

What success looks like:

• Child completes tasks with less prompting
  
• Less resistance to multi-step activities
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Pair with visual prompts for non-readers.
  
  

5. Sensory Overwhelm (covering ears, hiding, meltdowns in noisy spaces)

Solution #1: Sensory-Friendly Modifications

What it is:
Adjusting the environment to reduce sensory triggers.

Why it works:
Minimizes stressors so the child can participate without distress.

How to use it:

1. Offer noise-canceling headphones during loud times.
   
2. Create a low-stimulation space with soft lighting.
   
3. Limit group size for certain activities.
   
   

Resources needed:

• Noise-canceling headphones (~$20–$30)
  
• Portable divider or pop-up tent
  
• Sensory lighting options
  
  

What success looks like:

• Child re-engages in activities that were previously avoided
  
• Reduction in meltdowns linked to sensory overload
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Offer sensory breaks before anticipated triggers.
  
  

Solution #2: Predictable Warnings for Changes

What it is:
Giving advanced notice before transitions or loud activities.

Why it works:
Prepares the nervous system and reduces shock from sudden changes.

How to use it:

1. Use timers or countdowns.
   
2. Offer choices (“In 5 minutes we’ll clean up — do you want to finish your drawing or start putting away blocks?”).
   
   

Resources needed:

• Visual timers (~$10–$15)
  
• Consistent routine
  
  

What success looks like:

• Child transitions with fewer signs of stress
  
• Less avoidance behavior
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Combine with visual schedules for full-day predictability.
  
  

6. Refusal / Noncompliance

Solution #1: Choice Boards

What it is:
A visual menu of acceptable options so the child feels a sense of control.

Why it works:
Reduces power struggles by shifting focus to choice rather than refusal.

How to use it:

1. Display 2–3 options for the next activity or task.
   
2. Let the child point or choose verbally.
   
3. Praise the choice rather than the compliance.
   
   

Resources needed:

• Laminated choice cards
  
• Small display board
  
  

What success looks like:

• Increased willingness to participate
  
• Reduction in outright “no” responses
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Use token systems to reward choices that align with group needs.
  
  

Solutions #2: Premack Principle (“First/Then” Strategy)

What it is:
Linking a less preferred task to a preferred one.

Why it works:
Builds motivation through clear cause-and-effect expectations.

How to use it:

1. State: “First, we clean up, then we go outside.”
   
2. Deliver the preferred activity immediately after task completion.
   
   

Resources needed:

• Teacher consistency
  
• Visual first/then card

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What success looks like:

• Higher compliance with previously avoided tasks
  
• Less negotiation or stalling
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Use micro-rewards (stickers, stamps) for repeated small wins.
  
  

7. Attention Challenges (wandering, distractibility, difficulty completing tasks)

Solution #1: Movement Breaks

What it is:
Short bursts of physical activity to reset focus.

Why it works:
Improves attention span by meeting sensory and movement needs.

How to use it:

1. Schedule breaks every 15–20 minutes.
   
2. Keep activities brief (1–3 minutes).
   
3. Use predictable signals to start and end.
   
   

Resources needed:

• None, optional props (scarves, bean bags)
  
  

What success looks like:

• Longer engagement in seated tasks
  
• Reduced fidgeting and off-task behavior
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Integrate movement into lessons instead of separate breaks.
  
  

Solution #2: Proximity Support

What it is:
Positioning the teacher closer to the child to provide subtle prompts.

Why it works:
Physical proximity can redirect attention without verbal interruptions.

How to use it:

1. Stand or sit near the child during key instructions.
   
2. Use gentle gestures or visual cues to redirect.
   
   

Resources needed:

• Teacher positioning awareness
  
  

What success looks like:

• Child redirects faster with less disruption to the group
  
  
• Fewer repeated instructions needed
  
  

Fallbacks/variations:

• Pair with visual timers for task focus.
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You’re Not Alone

If your center is struggling to support children with behavioral challenges, know that you’re not alone. But also know: you can do this.

You can be the school that didn’t give up.

The school that trained and supported its team.

The school that helped a child and family feel seen, safe, and successful.

That child who throws toys today? They might be the one who grows into a leader, a helper, a peacemaker, because you didn’t give up. And that teacher who says, “I don’t know what to do”? Maybe what they really need is to hear, “Let’s figure it out together.”

Let’s work together to make sure every child and every teacher feels like they belong.